Welcome to the 80’s! I’m now sporting a half mullet! I hear they may be coming back in style, so maybe it’s not all bad. Life just keeps handing me lessons over and over again until I learn, I suppose.  It’s kind of a long story, so I’ll try to sum it up for you.

We moved almost a year ago and because of COVID we have pretty much isolated ourselves and stayed at home. We hadn’t met anyone, really, other than our really sweet realtors. We have gone out for walks in our neighborhood. It’s such a nice climate and we can get out for a walk nearly every day.

Well, one day while we were out, we met a neighbor a few doors down from us. He’s always out cleaning the dust off his truck and is very friendly. (We do get a lot of dust in the desert.) He introduced himself and he and my husband got to chatting, finding they have a lot in common. He kept mentioning that his wife is a hairdresser and a very good one from where she came from in the mid-west. He said I should meet her and have her do my hair. I was hesitant. I didn’t know her, nor her reputation. We invited them over for Christmas dinner so I could meet her.

Now, you have to keep in mind, that we are still in the throes of COVID, so we were being very careful about how we were cooking and serving the meal. My first impression was that she was nice, but she was loud and literally did not know boundaries. She was inches away from my face when she talked and she talks very loud. (COVID alert!) I kept backing away from her until I hit the wall and could not back up any further. I would describe her as a gypsy woman. She talks with an accent and if she were sitting at a table with a scarf over her head and a crystal ball I would think that’s right where she belonged. Red Flag #1.

I asked her about my hair and she seemed to know what she was talking about and had some good ideas for a new style that would be a bit more flattering. She looked at my shampoo and said it was not the best shampoo for my hair. (what?) She was hypercritical of everything, but in spite of that, I canceled my appointment with the hairdresser I had, and scheduled with her.  In the meantime, my sweet husband helped them with a house project fixing the roof flashing on their back patio. It took him several days to help get it finished and it saved them about $500 in repairs. (Not that we don’t have enough of our own remodeling to do. Just sayin…) While he was there helping them, she started talking politics with my husband and was in his face yelling at him, pointing at his chest, telling him he was wrong, she was right. He came home really stressed out and frustrated. Red Flag #2.

I did go to her to get my hair done and she did a beautiful job. The color was perfect and she cut my bangs in a way that really flattered my face. “She’s good.” I thought. A few things were niggling at my brain, though. When I went to get a pedicure, she noticed, then the next time I saw her she showed me her nice new pedicure. We were walking by their house a few days later, and she and her husband were driving by. She literally told him to stop and let her out of the car. She came over to talk. She noticed I had done my fingernails. I told her it was Color Street nails but she didn’t know anything about the product so I invited her to follow me home so I could show her. She didn’t really act all that interested, but she started talking politics again with my husband. I watched as my husband very kindly, very sweetly, told her that if they were to be friends, she needed to stop talking politics with him. She didn’t stop. She kept getting louder and louder and I was trying desperately to get her out the door which we finally did. We were both left feeling anxious and frustrated. Red Flag #3.

I ghosted her for a few days to try and get my head straight, then my husband went over to tell them that if she was going to continue with her “in your face” politics, then we just couldn’t be friends.

In the meantime, I was having inner turmoil about the whole thing. Was I just imagining things? Is she really that combative? What is it about me that attracts these kind of people? I should just be nice to her because my husband has found a great friend, even though it made me feel uncomfortable having her copy everything I did. (She went out and got a manicure after she saw my nails. I told her I was going to get a pink bike for my birthday in March. She bought herself a pink bicycle.) In my face. Red Flag #4.

All this time, I am trying to figure out what it is about her that is setting off something inside of me. She sort of reminded me of my mother. Sort of. I remember my Mom singing the “Anything you can do, I can to better. I can do anything better than you” song. There was something else that I couldn’t put my finger on. She was, to me, an energy vampire. Rather than feeling lifted up and happy when around her, I felt drained, anxious, and scared. I wasn’t sure why? She always wanted to stir things up, gossip about everything, talk about the neighbors, politics, bad-mouthing her daughter, etc. My spidey sense was on fire but since I couldn’t put words to it, I continued on. I told my husband that I wasn’t sure I could trust her to cut my hair after all the turmoil we had with them over the last month. She’s the one with the scissors and razor. It quite frankly, scared me. “Be brave, ” I said to myself. “Not a big deal. She’s a professional.”

I really needed a haircut. My bangs were growing and it had been almost two months since my last haircut. I told her I needed to get a trim and she said she would call me after her next Saturday appointment to set something up. Well, she didn’t call, so I resigned myself to going somewhere else. Everything in my being said that’s the right thing to do, but I wasn’t sure how to tell her that and I was feeling guilty about going elsewhere. (Why? I don’t know. I just don’t like hurting people’s feelings) My husband was out walking with her husband a few days later. I was out doing yard work and as they walked by the house, he told me she had me set up for an appointment on Saturday at 2:00. Right then, my gut said “Tell him no. Tell him to cancel it. Ask him if she really wants me as a client.” but, I thought, she did a good job the last time, so time to grow up and stop acting silly.

Right before the appointment, I had a gut feeling I should just cancel. Make up some story, make excuses, anything to not go. I didn’t. I went and when I got there, she had just finished up a client and had done a beautiful job on her hair. “She really knows her stuff.” I thought. I watched as she was getting her client out the door and cleaning up. She removed the mirror from the table and swept up. She asked me what I wanted done and I told her I just needed a half inch trim all over. We had decided during my previous appointment that my hair would look better if I grew out some of my bangs and just go with more of a wispy bang. So, she knew there were parts of my hair that needed to stay long and grow out some. We conversed as she cut and I really couldn’t tell how much she was taking off, and since the mirror was missing, I couldn’t see. I just trusted that she knew what she was doing. When she was done, she didn’t get the mirror back out to show me like she had the last time. I didn’t think anything about it and I didn’t look at it when I got home. I didn’t notice it until the next morning. I saw that she had cut my bangs short and almost back to the middle of my head. Some of the cuts were as short as one and a half inches. She had to have taken a good 4 – 6 inches off of some parts. It was choppy and a mess. It’s going to take months to get the length back.

Not to go down the paranoia road, but I’m already there, so why not? I told my husband I think she did it on purpose. She is good at cutting hair and she would never in a million years cut it in a way that looks terrible. She had already made it a point to tell me how good she was at hair and the clients I had seen looked great! She has a reputation to uphold. So, considering I view her as a gypsy woman, I wouldn’t be surprised if she kept a lock of my hair so she could put a curse on me. She already told me her mother was a card reader and that she predicted the COVID pandemic before she died a year ago, so anything is possible, right??  It might be in her blood.

Seriously, she seems to be bi-polar or to have some sort of mental disability. I’m not a psychiatrist, so can’t really say for sure, but she can be nice as pie one day and literally in your face the next. There’s just something off about her and my spidey sense is on fire when she’s around. I just don’t trust her. I keep wondering if all this stems from my own trust issues, which it probably does. There’s just something about her that doesn’t ring true with me. I don’t know if it’s worth trying to be around her just so I can work on my own issues and figure this out or if it’s better to just stay away. She keeps calling me, but I have ghosted her again. I’m not sure that’s a very nice thing to do, but it seems the only way to protect myself and deal with my own anxiety. My gut is telling me “Do not engage” so I better listen this time.

Sorry this is longer than a “sum up” but I had to get it all out. Here’s wishing you a sassy style and healthy locks. May your hair bring you the joy and beauty you deserve. I will be here sitting in the sunshine willing my hair to grow as fast as possible.