I recently turned a milestone age, although, people tell me I don’t look a day over forty!  (However, my daughter recently turned forty – but she still looks twenty!)  I guess age is relative and “you’re as young as you feel,” so to speak.

Anyway, I have been cleaning out and organizing boxes that have been stored in the corner for several years.  They hold scrapbooking items, memorabilia and pictures.  It was during this rather large and daunting project of cleaning and organizing these things that I turned sixty.  I realized what a huge milestone age this is. The age, along with the project helped me view my life chronologically and to realize that, as John Denver sang “It’s been a good life after all.”

I have found a lot of treasures that I had forgotten I had… letters from my mother, aunts, great-aunt, my grandfather’s coin purse, letters from old friends who have since passed away, remnants of my childhood, my children’s childhood, grandchildren, concert tickets, wedding pictures, and cards galore! I’m not really a hoarder, but I am sentimental and there are just some things I can’t seem to part with.  I realized that  I don’t have a lot of regrets, though, and there are a lot of things that have happened in my lifetime that I wouldn’t change for all the money in the world.

As I have been reflecting, I realized that through every stage of our lives there is baggage.  Good and Bad.  We are either accumulating new baggage, metaphorically speaking, or getting rid of old baggage.  Sometimes we are doing both at the same time.  These bags make up our lives and it’s up to us to figure out which bags to keep and which ones to leave behind.

I have been at a stage in life for several years where I have been unpacking old bags, leaving items strewn along the path behind me as I go.  This includes stuff, people, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.  It takes effort to unload bags in order to get rid of meaningless things, meaningless experiences, people who have come and gone, in order to find peace and contentment in life.  Some of these bags have been very heavy and hard to let go of.

There are still some bags that I continue to hold on to, because I can’t seem to loosen the grip I have on their handle.  They are old, tattered and worn, yet I still cling to them because they are the hardest to let go of.  (My mother’s shrill voice telling me that I did something wrong, when I was only trying to do my best.  The look in my father’s eye when I did something shameful.)  Some of these hurts and pains rear their ugly heads in the strangest places, which is why I am determined to unpack these bags and leave them along the side of the road.  They are not serving me well and I have been carrying them far too long.  Let’s face it, they are the bags that hold the old smelly socks and crusty underwear and seem to be the ones I carry with me constantly.  Frankly, they’re getting a little rank.

On the flipside, I am also accumulating some shiny new baggage such as my unrecognizable body and it’s alien-likeness with it growing things where they shouldn’t grow, spreading out where it shouldn’t spread, and sagging where it shouldn’t sag.  These are bags I didn’t know existed, but even though it’s different and new to me, I wouldn’t change it.  This body has taken me through this wonderful life with its ups and downs and it will continue with me until my last breath.

The most memorable and valuable bags that I will hold on to forever are the small, simple, beautiful, soft velvet bags of love, laughter, and joy in life’s precious moments.  These are the days my children were born, the day I got married to my very committed husband, walks on the beach with my daughter, big bear hugs from my son, grandchildren’s giggles and jokes, laughing with friends, late night talks with my husband which end in laughing half the night, and hearing guitar practice in the next room.  These are the bags that I have a tight grip on because they will stay with my soul through eternity.

It’s time to keep a tight grip on the bags that bring me joy, and time to unpack and stop clinging to the bags that drag me down.  It’s time to let go and lighten the load!