This was originally posted in June 2016…re-posting on my new website…Enjoy!

I sometimes feel like I have spent my whole life waiting for the shoe to drop, so to speak.  Life can be pretty crazy.  Just when you think things are going well and start sailing along, something happens.  The shoe drops and you have to re-adjust and find a new normal.  It’s been that way my whole life.  I’m the kind of person who likes a calm, easy going existence.  I want the fun to last forever.  That’s not always what life has to offer, however.  Life is messy.  It’s up then it’s down.  It is constantly changing and for someone who really despises change, it takes its toll on me.  It takes a while for me to get up to speed again and reach a point of acceptance.

Holy cow, it took me a good twenty-five years to accept the fact that my Dad had passed away and was never coming back.  It’s been almost three years since my mother passed and I still want to call her on the phone every weekend.  I suppose this is all normal for anyone going through the grieving process, but I want to get to the point in my life someday where I grab that shoe, hold it to my heart, and say “Yes! This is life and I love it!!”  You have to have sorrow and disappointment in order to appreciate the joy in life.  It’s not living if you are constantly going through life afraid of the shoe.  It’s not healthy living in fear that someone you love may be snatched away from you at any moment or that something you have may be taken away from you through no fault of your own.  (yes, I have these thoughts from time to time)

So, I have been giving a lot of thought to how to embrace the shoe.  I suppose I first need to find the right shoe.  My mother loved shoes!  My sisters and I had a contest once when we were cleaning my Mom’s house.  We had a bet going on how many pairs of shoes she had in her closet.  My bet was thirty-five and I was the closest to the actual number, thirty-seven.  Thirty-seven pairs of shoes!  Talk about literally embracing shoes!  My mother did it well and without apology.  One of her favorite things to do was to go shopping and invariably, end up in the shoe department.  She was always on a quest for the most comfortable and most stylish pair she could find.  It used to irritate me because I am the kind of person that has a few basic pairs – no more, no less than needed.  But my mother loved shoes!  I guess the lesson I can learn from that is to find what you love and go for it with gusto!

So, how does one find the right shoe for them?  I started by painting a picture in my mind.  Four inch stiletto heels smothered with large emerald cut diamonds, with a hue of deep ocean blue underneath.  Now that would be a beautiful shoe!  (not that I would wear it, because it would be very uncomfortable)  It’s a shoe, though, that I could embrace and a symbol of everything beautiful about life that makes it worth living.  It would be something that I could hang on to when I’m feeling low or smile and laugh at when I’m having a great day.  It could be a visual reminder to me that life can be a little “rocky” at times but it is also very joyous, beautiful and exciting.  It would be a shoe that I could hold to my heart and say “Yes! This is a great life!”  Even in times of sorrow and pain, because after you work through all the pain, there is joy at the other side.  That’s the way life is.

So, go out there and find your shoe!  Embrace it, love it, and nurture it.  Love that shoe for all you’re worth!   You are worth it!  Life is worth it!